Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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