The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
