He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
