you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i think im in europe. pls send help
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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