i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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