it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
