come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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