I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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