dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
