you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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