How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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