He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
