He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
