He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
