For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
