its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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