The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
