Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
