Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
