Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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