Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
