Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize