all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize