i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
