I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
