I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
