its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
