yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
