Yo dont text me then not text me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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