So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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