I'm going to jail i love you
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
