I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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