i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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