Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
