I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
