Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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