You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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