it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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