Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
