Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
