I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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