I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
