she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
