garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
