He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
