omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
