Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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