my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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