I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i need some magic done to my vagina
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
