Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
