the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
