once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
