I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
