they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
