I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
