You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
