Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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