i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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