you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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