i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
