my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
