:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
