i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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