You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize