Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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