she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
